yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
