Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
