Dude my mom stole all your condoms
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
