WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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