Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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