Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
