so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
