at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
