I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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