need another drink. this is the easiest way
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
