all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
