are you still at the devil's house?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
