is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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