I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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