You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
