Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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