"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
