the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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