On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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