ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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