Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
