It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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