She said her name was "party"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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