He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
