"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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