I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
