Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
