I used to practice getting hit by cars.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
