why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Randomize
