Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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