girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
