I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
