we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
