butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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