Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
