I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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