from now on my penis is your penis
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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