Tell her she can't have a vagina
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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