you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He? As in you personified your dick?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
