Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
