I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
