he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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