His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
