I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Someone signed my nipple.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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