I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
