small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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