$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
