I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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