Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
