Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
