is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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