we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
